"We are usually surrounded by so much inner and outer noise that it is hard to truly hear our God when he is speaking to us. ... Thus our lives become absurd. In the word absurd we find the Latin word surdus which means deaf. A spiritual life requires discipline because we need to learn to listen to God, who constantly speaks but we seldom hear. ... The word obedient comes from the Latin word audier, which means listening."
- Henry Nouwen
Showing posts with label iBelieve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label iBelieve. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Circular Organization
People like to set up triangular power structures. The person at the top has the ultimate authority, and extends limited authority to a few subordinates, who delegate limited authority to a few subordinates, who delegate limited authority to a few subordinates.
We do this in the church, too, especially in small groups. Your small group has a leader, but he reports to someone else, who reports to someone who reports to the pastor...or something like that.
I don't see Jesus doing this. Instead, Jesus organized his followers circularly. He had his best friend, John. John was a part of the inner three (Peter, James, and John). They were part of the Twelve. The Twelve were part of the Seventy (Seventy-two?). The Seventy (two?) were a part of the believers. The believers were part of the crowds.
What's the lesson here? I dunno. Maybe it's quit trying to control things. Quit making power grabs. Maybe it's to be Jesus-centric. All of the above?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Authenticity
We seem to have this idea in the church that God wants everyone to be x, y, and z. Therefore, if you want to fit in at church, you need to be x, y, and z--or at the very least pretend to be. Hey, maybe if you pretend to be all of those things you might actually be all of those things eventually.
This is the very definition of being inauthentic. It isn't biblical, either.
Jesus made it very clear that who we are on the outside is a product of who we are on the inside. This is why He taught us that if we lust in our heart we have committed adultery. The actual act of adultery is nothing more than the outflowing of the sin in our heart! Jesus taught of a transformation that begins on the inside. The outside is the last place you'll see change.
The church expects the exact opposite. Before you even enter the building, you need to put down your booze and smokes, stop using bad language, and put on a nice shirt. Once you're inside, you should be affable and gregarious.
God doesn't want you to act as if you care. He isn't into theatrics. God wants you to actually care. Don't waste your effort trying to do what you think you would do if you actually cared--that's completely inauthentic. Instead, put your effort into trying to actually make yourself care. If you actually care, even a little bit, genuine response will follow sooner or later.
Paul taught us that every person in the body of Christ (the church) is different and plays a different role. We can't all be eyeballs. Somebody has to be an ear. Somebody has to be hands. Somebody has to be a sphincter. God didn't make us all to be bubbly talkative people. To tell someone that the way they were created is wrong, and they need to reform themselves in the image of another person is a sin, plain and simple.
Be authentic. That doesn't mean you need to be the same authentic as anyone else, though! They should be their own authentic self, and you should be your own authentic self. Pretending to be anything else--regardless of your intentions--is the furthest thing from authenticity.
How can we help others to be more authentic? Should we pepper them with personal inquiries? I think not. The more uncomfortable we make them, the harder it will be for them to let their walls down. Be authentic. Be open, and give them the space to be their own authentic self in their own time as they feel comfortable to do so.
This is the very definition of being inauthentic. It isn't biblical, either.
Jesus made it very clear that who we are on the outside is a product of who we are on the inside. This is why He taught us that if we lust in our heart we have committed adultery. The actual act of adultery is nothing more than the outflowing of the sin in our heart! Jesus taught of a transformation that begins on the inside. The outside is the last place you'll see change.
The church expects the exact opposite. Before you even enter the building, you need to put down your booze and smokes, stop using bad language, and put on a nice shirt. Once you're inside, you should be affable and gregarious.
God doesn't want you to act as if you care. He isn't into theatrics. God wants you to actually care. Don't waste your effort trying to do what you think you would do if you actually cared--that's completely inauthentic. Instead, put your effort into trying to actually make yourself care. If you actually care, even a little bit, genuine response will follow sooner or later.
Paul taught us that every person in the body of Christ (the church) is different and plays a different role. We can't all be eyeballs. Somebody has to be an ear. Somebody has to be hands. Somebody has to be a sphincter. God didn't make us all to be bubbly talkative people. To tell someone that the way they were created is wrong, and they need to reform themselves in the image of another person is a sin, plain and simple.
Be authentic. That doesn't mean you need to be the same authentic as anyone else, though! They should be their own authentic self, and you should be your own authentic self. Pretending to be anything else--regardless of your intentions--is the furthest thing from authenticity.
How can we help others to be more authentic? Should we pepper them with personal inquiries? I think not. The more uncomfortable we make them, the harder it will be for them to let their walls down. Be authentic. Be open, and give them the space to be their own authentic self in their own time as they feel comfortable to do so.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Seven Things I Hate: A Defense
A while back, I published a list of Seven Things I Hate About Church, which I had actually written as part of a discussion of why men hate church. It's a good post, and you should read it--especially if you want to understand this one.
Earlier this week, that particular blog entry generated a comment from my friend Kendra that merits response. Kendra wrote:
Why do you think it's insincere? (I had said, "People pretend to care...")
Admittedly, sometimes someone feigns interest in me in a way that I perceive to be completely theatrical, but could theoretically be entirely genuine. More often than not, however, you run into people who ask about your life during the "meet and greet" portion of the service who never bother to talk to you before or after the service.
To be fair, and in the interest of full disclosure, I hate meet and greet. It's nothing but an attempt to create give-a-crap where none can otherwise be found. If we really cared about one another, if we were really happy to see one another, if we were really friendly people, all of that would shine through before and after the service and wouldn't have to interrupt worship. The fact that there's a designated time in the middle of the worship service serves as evidence that it's nothing but show that only the churchy people can really be happy about.
Of course, there's other signs, too. It seems to me that the interest shown is directly proportional to the level at which the things I have to say are likely to lead the other person to gossip about me. Of course, we define "to gossip about me" as "to enlist the saints to join together in prayer on my behalf."
In essence, I think it's insincere because it almost certainly is.
We are supposed to sharpen one another as iron, but we can't do it at all if we don't seek to know/be known.
Not to get wrapped up in details, but this is a trust issue. Trust cannot be taken. It can be earned, and it can be given. Attempts to take trust when it is not offered is not socially acceptable.
Consider this true story. I have a customer who is into a multi-level marketing thing. I'm not into MLM at all, but this guy has been successful with it, and he sincerely believes in both the product and the business. Whether he is right or not, he feels like he is helping people by talking to them and seeing if his MLM business might be right for them. This past summer, a new co-worker met this customer for the very first time. My customer asked him about his life, and quickly steered the direction of the conversation into asking him if he was happy with his life and what his goals were. It was awkward, to say the least. As soon as the customer left, my co-worker proclaimed, "That made me really uncomfortable!"
Now, if a conversation that basically boils down to "would you like to make more money?" is uncomfortable when trust is not present, imagine how it feels when it's about a more sensitive matter. You just can't ask someone about these things as if you're asking them what they want to eat for lunch.
Once a person has an awkward conversation with their churchy friend that dives into uncomfortable topics of conversation, the next time their churchy friend strikes up a conversation, the person will start feeling uncomfortable, expecting more of the same. It will take much longer to create that trust because the tiny seed of trust that existed by default has been smashed with a hammer to initiate the relationship.
Further, men just plain don't want to talk about it. Ask me how things are going at work. Bring up one of my favorite sports teams. Say something nice about my daughter. Other than that, you're pushing it. I don't want to tell you how I feel about anything--ever! Well, there's an off chance I might, but if I do, I'll offer it.
...I think the potential reward of authentic community far outweighs the risk of being hurt.
Yes and no.
Authentic community is important, and it merits a certain degree of risk.
Nowhere near everyone in your church will ever be part of an authentic community. The church is a goldmine for gossips because under the guise of "I'll pray for you" lies the perfect excuse to gossip about me (see definition above). Being an open book at church isn't running a risk-benefit analysis to determine if the potential reward outweighs the risk. Being an open book at church is to hand someone a large, sharp knife, turn around, and lean back against the blade and hope that they don't hurt you. Even if every single person in my church is trustworthy and in authentic community with me, there is going to be somebody who extends that trust to someone who is not--you know, so they can enlist the saints to join together in prayer on my behalf. If you're looking for authentic community, you're looking for a good small group. (I refer you to the 8th commandment.) Your small group should have a rule that what is said in the group stays in the group--this is a requirement because complaint #7 isn't opinion. It's fact.
Earlier this week, that particular blog entry generated a comment from my friend Kendra that merits response. Kendra wrote:
I can agree with many of these points and I get your writing style of being semi-sincere, semi-humorous. Here comes the but clause though...But...
On #1 Why do you think it's insincere?
On #2 I think it is beautiful that people are seeking to know one another. The church is in far greater danger of people just showing up for an hour and going on their merry way, without being intentional. We are supposed to sharpen one another as iron, but we can't do it at all if we don't seek to know/be known.
On #7 There will always be bad Christians happening to good people, but I think the potential reward of authentic community far outweighs the risk of being hurt. Plus, it's not really about us. It's about being the body. Maybe it comes down to just trusting...which brings to mind that I'd like to re-read Ruthless Trust--Brennan Manning.
Why do you think it's insincere? (I had said, "People pretend to care...")
Admittedly, sometimes someone feigns interest in me in a way that I perceive to be completely theatrical, but could theoretically be entirely genuine. More often than not, however, you run into people who ask about your life during the "meet and greet" portion of the service who never bother to talk to you before or after the service.
To be fair, and in the interest of full disclosure, I hate meet and greet. It's nothing but an attempt to create give-a-crap where none can otherwise be found. If we really cared about one another, if we were really happy to see one another, if we were really friendly people, all of that would shine through before and after the service and wouldn't have to interrupt worship. The fact that there's a designated time in the middle of the worship service serves as evidence that it's nothing but show that only the churchy people can really be happy about.
Of course, there's other signs, too. It seems to me that the interest shown is directly proportional to the level at which the things I have to say are likely to lead the other person to gossip about me. Of course, we define "to gossip about me" as "to enlist the saints to join together in prayer on my behalf."
In essence, I think it's insincere because it almost certainly is.
We are supposed to sharpen one another as iron, but we can't do it at all if we don't seek to know/be known.
Not to get wrapped up in details, but this is a trust issue. Trust cannot be taken. It can be earned, and it can be given. Attempts to take trust when it is not offered is not socially acceptable.
Consider this true story. I have a customer who is into a multi-level marketing thing. I'm not into MLM at all, but this guy has been successful with it, and he sincerely believes in both the product and the business. Whether he is right or not, he feels like he is helping people by talking to them and seeing if his MLM business might be right for them. This past summer, a new co-worker met this customer for the very first time. My customer asked him about his life, and quickly steered the direction of the conversation into asking him if he was happy with his life and what his goals were. It was awkward, to say the least. As soon as the customer left, my co-worker proclaimed, "That made me really uncomfortable!"
Now, if a conversation that basically boils down to "would you like to make more money?" is uncomfortable when trust is not present, imagine how it feels when it's about a more sensitive matter. You just can't ask someone about these things as if you're asking them what they want to eat for lunch.
Once a person has an awkward conversation with their churchy friend that dives into uncomfortable topics of conversation, the next time their churchy friend strikes up a conversation, the person will start feeling uncomfortable, expecting more of the same. It will take much longer to create that trust because the tiny seed of trust that existed by default has been smashed with a hammer to initiate the relationship.
Further, men just plain don't want to talk about it. Ask me how things are going at work. Bring up one of my favorite sports teams. Say something nice about my daughter. Other than that, you're pushing it. I don't want to tell you how I feel about anything--ever! Well, there's an off chance I might, but if I do, I'll offer it.
...I think the potential reward of authentic community far outweighs the risk of being hurt.
Yes and no.
Authentic community is important, and it merits a certain degree of risk.
Nowhere near everyone in your church will ever be part of an authentic community. The church is a goldmine for gossips because under the guise of "I'll pray for you" lies the perfect excuse to gossip about me (see definition above). Being an open book at church isn't running a risk-benefit analysis to determine if the potential reward outweighs the risk. Being an open book at church is to hand someone a large, sharp knife, turn around, and lean back against the blade and hope that they don't hurt you. Even if every single person in my church is trustworthy and in authentic community with me, there is going to be somebody who extends that trust to someone who is not--you know, so they can enlist the saints to join together in prayer on my behalf. If you're looking for authentic community, you're looking for a good small group. (I refer you to the 8th commandment.) Your small group should have a rule that what is said in the group stays in the group--this is a requirement because complaint #7 isn't opinion. It's fact.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Hate Going to Church?
A lot of people I know--many of whom profess to be Christian--hate going to church.
In Acts, Luke writes of the early church, "Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts" (2:46). Every day!? It seems like a lot of people can't handle once a week.
You don't want to go to church? There's a problem there. Maybe it's the church--it just isn't doing what the church is supposed to do. Maybe it's you--you just aren't really that big into all this Jesus stuff. Either way, there's something missing. If you truly believe the problem is with your church, do something about it--fix your church, or find a better church, or supplement your church with a small group or something like that. If the problem is you...get fixed.
In Acts, Luke writes of the early church, "Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts" (2:46). Every day!? It seems like a lot of people can't handle once a week.
You don't want to go to church? There's a problem there. Maybe it's the church--it just isn't doing what the church is supposed to do. Maybe it's you--you just aren't really that big into all this Jesus stuff. Either way, there's something missing. If you truly believe the problem is with your church, do something about it--fix your church, or find a better church, or supplement your church with a small group or something like that. If the problem is you...get fixed.
It Just Takes A Moment
Rahab was a prostitute.
If you have selected prostitution as your profession, you have made some terrible decisions in your life. Rahab had. Had Rahab continued on her journey the way she had been living, things would have just gone from bad to worse. She would have been killed and no one would remember a thing about her or that she had even existed.
Instead, in a single moment, she changed course. By deciding to cooperate with God's people, she saves her own life and the lives of her family members. She became part of the community of God's people. Not only is she remembered for helping the spies, she also makes her way into the genealogies of David and Solomon, but also in the genealogy of Jesus. The Son of God carried her DNA.
Prostitution is one of those careers that no one wants to be in. Bad circumstances and bad choices lead people there, and bad circumstances and bad choices keep people there. Rahab probably felt trapped. A lot of us feel trapped now and then. If we keep our eyes open, there's no telling when we will have that moment--our moment to do the right thing, to embrace the plan of God, and let God work in our lives to improve things.
Any moment can be a good moment. It may not be that life-changing once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity moment, but it can still be a moment that makes life better. Perhaps, in this moment, you can choose to accept God's call on your life. Perhaps, in this moment, you can choose to improve your marriage. Perhaps, in this moment, you can extend an extra bit of time to love your kids, or start exercising, or eat healthier. Life is full of choices. Choose to make the most of this moment.
If you have selected prostitution as your profession, you have made some terrible decisions in your life. Rahab had. Had Rahab continued on her journey the way she had been living, things would have just gone from bad to worse. She would have been killed and no one would remember a thing about her or that she had even existed.
Instead, in a single moment, she changed course. By deciding to cooperate with God's people, she saves her own life and the lives of her family members. She became part of the community of God's people. Not only is she remembered for helping the spies, she also makes her way into the genealogies of David and Solomon, but also in the genealogy of Jesus. The Son of God carried her DNA.
Prostitution is one of those careers that no one wants to be in. Bad circumstances and bad choices lead people there, and bad circumstances and bad choices keep people there. Rahab probably felt trapped. A lot of us feel trapped now and then. If we keep our eyes open, there's no telling when we will have that moment--our moment to do the right thing, to embrace the plan of God, and let God work in our lives to improve things.
Any moment can be a good moment. It may not be that life-changing once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity moment, but it can still be a moment that makes life better. Perhaps, in this moment, you can choose to accept God's call on your life. Perhaps, in this moment, you can choose to improve your marriage. Perhaps, in this moment, you can extend an extra bit of time to love your kids, or start exercising, or eat healthier. Life is full of choices. Choose to make the most of this moment.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Considering Job
This ties in directly with the previous post.
"Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason" (Job 2:3).
Do you maintain your integrity in the face of troubles? Could a holy God describe you as "blameless and upright"? Could a fallen man even describe you (honestly) as "blameless and upright"? That's kind of a high standard.
Reach for it.
"Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason" (Job 2:3).
Do you maintain your integrity in the face of troubles? Could a holy God describe you as "blameless and upright"? Could a fallen man even describe you (honestly) as "blameless and upright"? That's kind of a high standard.
Reach for it.
Are You Living It?
In 1 Thessalonians 2:10, Paul writes, "You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed."
Wow. That's pretty ballsy. I don't know too many Christians that are willing to actually say, "Hey, look at me, I'm living the way I've been telling you that you are supposed to live." That takes some guts, because we all have our moments and fall short of what we expect of ourselves and what God expects of us.
What if your goal today was to simply live today in such a way that you could speak like this about today? Can we live like that for one day? I think that's doable. And if we can do it for one day today, we can probably do the same tomorrow. One day at a time, and pretty soon it's a habit. Why don't we do this? It would be hard. Even more importantly, it would pretty much have to rank quite high on your priority list to do it. I guess that's why people don't.
Maybe that's why so many people think Christians are hypocrites. Maybe they're right.
Don't be a hypocrite.
Wow. That's pretty ballsy. I don't know too many Christians that are willing to actually say, "Hey, look at me, I'm living the way I've been telling you that you are supposed to live." That takes some guts, because we all have our moments and fall short of what we expect of ourselves and what God expects of us.
What if your goal today was to simply live today in such a way that you could speak like this about today? Can we live like that for one day? I think that's doable. And if we can do it for one day today, we can probably do the same tomorrow. One day at a time, and pretty soon it's a habit. Why don't we do this? It would be hard. Even more importantly, it would pretty much have to rank quite high on your priority list to do it. I guess that's why people don't.
Maybe that's why so many people think Christians are hypocrites. Maybe they're right.
Don't be a hypocrite.
Waiting For It
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"
Yup.
Yup.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Responding to Jesus
In Matthew 2, we read about the Magi and Herod, both searching for Jesus. Both believed, and both wanted to find the baby, but they went about it very differently and for very different reasons.
A truth that is demonstrated here is that anytime we are exposed to God in any way, we will always be changed in some way. How we are changed is largely up to us. We can either draw closer to God, or we can rebel against him. The Magi faced the truth, and devoted their time to finding Jesus to be closer to him. Herod, in response to the same truth, felt compelled to find Jesus to stop him from ever becoming king. Herod didn't want to himself be closer to Jesus--he just wanted to make sure no one else did, either. His response is paranoid, fearful, aggressive, and violent.
Herod was obviously a nasty guy. What kind of king orders all male babies under the age of two to be killed (verse 16)? Can you imagine how you would feel and how you would respond if a government leader sent that order out in your community? They don't have to--in this country, we murder our own babies when they are inconvenient, and no one has to force us to do so.
A truth that is demonstrated here is that anytime we are exposed to God in any way, we will always be changed in some way. How we are changed is largely up to us. We can either draw closer to God, or we can rebel against him. The Magi faced the truth, and devoted their time to finding Jesus to be closer to him. Herod, in response to the same truth, felt compelled to find Jesus to stop him from ever becoming king. Herod didn't want to himself be closer to Jesus--he just wanted to make sure no one else did, either. His response is paranoid, fearful, aggressive, and violent.
Herod was obviously a nasty guy. What kind of king orders all male babies under the age of two to be killed (verse 16)? Can you imagine how you would feel and how you would respond if a government leader sent that order out in your community? They don't have to--in this country, we murder our own babies when they are inconvenient, and no one has to force us to do so.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Be Strong and Courageous
It's not too many of who actually hear God speaking to us. Still, God doesn't change, and good advice is always good advice. When God put Joshua in charge of the nation of Israel, he gave Joshua some pretty clear instructions.
"Be strong and courageous...Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law...meditate on it...Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:6-9).
Did you ever notice in school that if your instructor says something two or three times that it was going to be on the test? The same thing is true in Hebrew literature. Repetition indicates truth and importance. In these four verses, God tells Joshua to "be strong and courageous" three times. That's because it's important!
Too many of us just aren't courageous. We worry a lot. And, the habit of lacking courage actually makes us weak. God wants something far better for you and for me. Has he not commanded us? Be strong and courageous!
"Be strong and courageous...Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law...meditate on it...Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:6-9).
Did you ever notice in school that if your instructor says something two or three times that it was going to be on the test? The same thing is true in Hebrew literature. Repetition indicates truth and importance. In these four verses, God tells Joshua to "be strong and courageous" three times. That's because it's important!
Too many of us just aren't courageous. We worry a lot. And, the habit of lacking courage actually makes us weak. God wants something far better for you and for me. Has he not commanded us? Be strong and courageous!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A List of Nasty Traits
"Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless" (Romans 1:28-31).
See that, kids? Disobeying your parents is on the same list as murder. Be good!
See that, kids? Disobeying your parents is on the same list as murder. Be good!
Job's Prayer
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21).
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
That's Some Plan
Most people list genealogies as some of the most boring passages of scripture. I have learned to appreciate them. The genealogy of Jesus is the specific example that isn't as boring as it may seem.
You see, as we read through the genealogy, a lot of those names we have heard before in the Old Testament. There are some really great people in there. There's David and Solomon, and there's some lesser-known good guys in there, too, like Hezekiah and Josiah. It's really a testimony of how God has been at work all throughout history to prepare for the coming of Jesus.
They aren't just good guys in Jesus' genealogy, though. There's some bad guys. There are some stories tied in there that are rather despicable. Solomon's mom was the woman that David had an affair with, remember? Don't even get me started on Tamar. This is significant, too. God has a plan for all of us--even if we are failures.
After the genealogy ends, Matthew begins to tell the Christmas story. After hundreds of years of God planning for this, things still weren't silky smooth and worry-free. Joseph considered leaving Mary during the pregnancy. That's a lot of drama. And the next time someone asks you if you were born in a barn--don't worry about it--Jesus was.
I see some lessons in that genealogy. First, God has a plan for each of us. No matter how good of a job we've done to screw it up, God can still use us. Second, things aren't always neat and easy, and that's okay. It isn't an indictment that we've screwed up or that we aren't in the will of God--stuff just happens. Finally, culture is over-rated.
You see, as we read through the genealogy, a lot of those names we have heard before in the Old Testament. There are some really great people in there. There's David and Solomon, and there's some lesser-known good guys in there, too, like Hezekiah and Josiah. It's really a testimony of how God has been at work all throughout history to prepare for the coming of Jesus.
They aren't just good guys in Jesus' genealogy, though. There's some bad guys. There are some stories tied in there that are rather despicable. Solomon's mom was the woman that David had an affair with, remember? Don't even get me started on Tamar. This is significant, too. God has a plan for all of us--even if we are failures.
After the genealogy ends, Matthew begins to tell the Christmas story. After hundreds of years of God planning for this, things still weren't silky smooth and worry-free. Joseph considered leaving Mary during the pregnancy. That's a lot of drama. And the next time someone asks you if you were born in a barn--don't worry about it--Jesus was.
I see some lessons in that genealogy. First, God has a plan for each of us. No matter how good of a job we've done to screw it up, God can still use us. Second, things aren't always neat and easy, and that's okay. It isn't an indictment that we've screwed up or that we aren't in the will of God--stuff just happens. Finally, culture is over-rated.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
10 Commandments of Small Groups
I've been thinking about what small group ministry should look like. What if we applied the Ten Commandments to small groups? I think it would look something like this:
This blog may or may not include original thought. It was severely influenced by Gareth Weldon Icenogle's Biblical Foundations for Small Group Ministry: An Integrational Approach.
- You shall have no other gods. Small groups should be focused on God.
- You shall have no idols that distract you from God. That includes your cell phones, televisions, and grandfather clocks.
- You shall honor the name of God. That includes being sincere and truthful when talking to and about God.
- Remember the Sabbath. Your group should have regularly scheduled time set aside to meet together. Meeting "whenever we can" will soon translate into meeting "never."
- Honor one another. (Jesus said that those who do the will of God are his brother and sister and mother. Honoring one another is to keep the commandment to honor our parents.)
- Have an attitude of reconciliation. (This is the opposite of murder.)
- Nurture healthy relationships. (This is the opposite of adultery.)
- Allow each member of the group to share their thoughts and gifts as they are comfortable to do so. Don't force it or try to one-up one another. (This is the opposite of theft.)
- Speak with love. This means offering truth, encouragement, and confidentiality to each member of the group. (This is the opposite of giving false witness.)
- Appreciate and respect what each member brings to the group. (This is the opposite of covetousness.)
This blog may or may not include original thought. It was severely influenced by Gareth Weldon Icenogle's Biblical Foundations for Small Group Ministry: An Integrational Approach.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Putting Yourself Out There
As a kid, I got to spend a lot of time with my grandparents over the summers. I would go for a week at a time, sometimes with my brothers, sometimes with cousins, sometimes with both, and sometimes with neither (but never with my parents). This is a great experience for a kid. I highly recommend it.
During those visits, I really got to know my grandparents. You can project yourself to be whomever you want to project yourself as for a day or two, but over the course of a week (and several weeks in a single summer), day in and day out, your true self will shine through. I got to discover the authenticity of my grandparents. Those totally awesome people on Thanksgiving Day? They're like that 24/7. I also got to learn their stories. They told me about growing up, courtship, working in an orphanage, raising children (which is more entertaining when those children are your dad, aunt, and uncle)...all sorts of stuff.
One of the stories my grandma told me was about when she and my grandpa first started dating. Apparently, my grandma had a nasty habit of dumping guys for sport. Well, not for sport. Basically, she was happy with single life and didn't want some guy to mess that up. (I can relate.) What changed when she met my grandpa? Nothing, really. Her mother (my great-grandma) told her that she couldn't break up with my grandpa unless she had an actual reason. The rest, as they say, is history.
I never asked if my grandpa knew back then that my grandma had been a serial break-up artist. I got the impression that he didn't, but I should have asked him. I wonder now if he would have pursued her if he had known the high probability that she was going to hurt him. Would he have put himself out there and taken that chance?
I think he would. There's two reasons I think my grandpa would have risked his heart to pursue my grandma:
That got me thinking. Jesus put himself out there for us. He knew what it would cost him. God keeps on extending grace, even though He knows full well that more often than not, we're going to hurt him--and we all have. That's some crazy love right there.
What's the appropriate response to a crazy love like that? Crazy love is the only response to that. If you aren't a fanatic about your response to God, I daresay you're not doing it right.
How do you know if you're loving God like you should? Jesus said outsiders would be able to tell by the way we love one another. That means it's our turn. Have you put yourself out there to extend crazy love to someone today?
During those visits, I really got to know my grandparents. You can project yourself to be whomever you want to project yourself as for a day or two, but over the course of a week (and several weeks in a single summer), day in and day out, your true self will shine through. I got to discover the authenticity of my grandparents. Those totally awesome people on Thanksgiving Day? They're like that 24/7. I also got to learn their stories. They told me about growing up, courtship, working in an orphanage, raising children (which is more entertaining when those children are your dad, aunt, and uncle)...all sorts of stuff.
One of the stories my grandma told me was about when she and my grandpa first started dating. Apparently, my grandma had a nasty habit of dumping guys for sport. Well, not for sport. Basically, she was happy with single life and didn't want some guy to mess that up. (I can relate.) What changed when she met my grandpa? Nothing, really. Her mother (my great-grandma) told her that she couldn't break up with my grandpa unless she had an actual reason. The rest, as they say, is history.
I never asked if my grandpa knew back then that my grandma had been a serial break-up artist. I got the impression that he didn't, but I should have asked him. I wonder now if he would have pursued her if he had known the high probability that she was going to hurt him. Would he have put himself out there and taken that chance?
I think he would. There's two reasons I think my grandpa would have risked his heart to pursue my grandma:- Grandma is that awesome.
- Grandpa was that awesome.
That got me thinking. Jesus put himself out there for us. He knew what it would cost him. God keeps on extending grace, even though He knows full well that more often than not, we're going to hurt him--and we all have. That's some crazy love right there.
What's the appropriate response to a crazy love like that? Crazy love is the only response to that. If you aren't a fanatic about your response to God, I daresay you're not doing it right.
How do you know if you're loving God like you should? Jesus said outsiders would be able to tell by the way we love one another. That means it's our turn. Have you put yourself out there to extend crazy love to someone today?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
I Agree with Katy Perry.
Confession: I like Katy Perry.
I know she's some kind of she-devil, but Katy Perry is good looking, and her music is fun. I know I'm supposed to be all up in arms because she sang "I Kissed A Girl" (and she liked it!), but, um, I kissed a girl--and I liked it, too. Did you know that Katy Perry is a pastor's daughter, and that before she started her career as "Katy Perry" she was a Christian artist under her real name, Katy Hudson? Yeah...she's all kinds of messed up now. Still, even though she kissed a girl and she thinks ur so gay, I like a lot of what she has to say.
As an ultra-conservative Christian, I'm supposed to be repulsed by that video somehow. I mean, there's like homo love and a fat girl in her undies. I'm not. Granted, I don't really want to see homo loving (I don't really want to see hetero loving, either. Most people just aren't attractive enough to make the view enjoyable), nor do I really want to see big folk in their skivvies.
The thing is, we're supposed to love people. Even if you think, for example, that homosexuality is a sin, shouldn't we be still be more offended when they are made to feel isolated, rejected, and unloved than when they act on what is in their heart anyway? Seriously, is this how Jesus would treat people? If they feel isolated, rejected, and unloved, then they are in the same position (just unhappy). The real difference is in us--we are the ones doing wrong.
There's pretty much no denying, if I think someone is gay, I'll probably be the first to say so, and if I think someone is fat, I'll probably be the first to admit that, too. There's no value statement attached there. People are still valuable, regardless.
What Katy Perry is singing about in "Firework" is really what the life of Jesus is all about. God has this incredibly high view of who we can be--who we should be. Each of us is unique. Each of us hold the potential to be great. Through God, we can reach that unique potential. Jesus came to get us there.
If we cannot manage to love one another, can we really call ourselves followers of Jesus?
I know she's some kind of she-devil, but Katy Perry is good looking, and her music is fun. I know I'm supposed to be all up in arms because she sang "I Kissed A Girl" (and she liked it!), but, um, I kissed a girl--and I liked it, too. Did you know that Katy Perry is a pastor's daughter, and that before she started her career as "Katy Perry" she was a Christian artist under her real name, Katy Hudson? Yeah...she's all kinds of messed up now. Still, even though she kissed a girl and she thinks ur so gay, I like a lot of what she has to say.
As an ultra-conservative Christian, I'm supposed to be repulsed by that video somehow. I mean, there's like homo love and a fat girl in her undies. I'm not. Granted, I don't really want to see homo loving (I don't really want to see hetero loving, either. Most people just aren't attractive enough to make the view enjoyable), nor do I really want to see big folk in their skivvies.
The thing is, we're supposed to love people. Even if you think, for example, that homosexuality is a sin, shouldn't we be still be more offended when they are made to feel isolated, rejected, and unloved than when they act on what is in their heart anyway? Seriously, is this how Jesus would treat people? If they feel isolated, rejected, and unloved, then they are in the same position (just unhappy). The real difference is in us--we are the ones doing wrong.
There's pretty much no denying, if I think someone is gay, I'll probably be the first to say so, and if I think someone is fat, I'll probably be the first to admit that, too. There's no value statement attached there. People are still valuable, regardless.
What Katy Perry is singing about in "Firework" is really what the life of Jesus is all about. God has this incredibly high view of who we can be--who we should be. Each of us is unique. Each of us hold the potential to be great. Through God, we can reach that unique potential. Jesus came to get us there.
If we cannot manage to love one another, can we really call ourselves followers of Jesus?
Happy Christianity
I am increasingly aware that the key to being a happy Christian is learning to laugh at all the other churchy people.
Please don't make me explain it.
Please don't make me explain it.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Shut Your Mouth
I know "Shut Your Mouth" isn't a title anyone expected in the title of one of my churchy blogs, but I said it. I also know that probably most of my readers will think I am being funny or dramatic or something, but I am not.
I am increasingly tired of a culture that wants to tear everyone down. We wrap it up as "good clean fun" and "friendly teasing" and all that. I call bull-crap. There is nothing good or clean or fun or friendly about it. It's mean and nasty and I'm done with it. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I am going to give you all permission to hold me accountable and set me straight. And if you can't handle controlling yourselves, I have one simple message:
Shut your mouth and read 1 Thessalonians 5.
Be self-controlled (verse 8). Encourage one another and build each other up (11). Respect those who work hard among you (12). Hold them in the highest regard. Live in peace (13). Warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone (14). Always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else (15). Be joyful always (16). Pray continually (17). Give thanks in all circumstances (18). Avoid every kind of evil (22).
Is that too tough? Can't manage that? Then just shut your mouth.
I am increasingly tired of a culture that wants to tear everyone down. We wrap it up as "good clean fun" and "friendly teasing" and all that. I call bull-crap. There is nothing good or clean or fun or friendly about it. It's mean and nasty and I'm done with it. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I am going to give you all permission to hold me accountable and set me straight. And if you can't handle controlling yourselves, I have one simple message:
Shut your mouth and read 1 Thessalonians 5.
Be self-controlled (verse 8). Encourage one another and build each other up (11). Respect those who work hard among you (12). Hold them in the highest regard. Live in peace (13). Warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone (14). Always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else (15). Be joyful always (16). Pray continually (17). Give thanks in all circumstances (18). Avoid every kind of evil (22).
Is that too tough? Can't manage that? Then just shut your mouth.
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